The Moments That Shape Us: Choosing Who You Become

The Moments That Shape Us: Choosing Who You Become

Life has a way of handing all of us moments—some we ask for, some we don’t. Many times they end up shaping who we become. In my latest video, I opened up about some of the moments that built me, broke me, and ultimately pushed me to grow. And if you’re reading this, my hope is simple: you see yourself somewhere in this story, and you realize you are not alone and not stuck.

For those who don’t know me yet, I’m Brent Widman, co-CEO of Your Limitless Coach. My job, my mission, and honestly my calling is to help leaders, top performers, and everyday people step into the best version of themselves—one decision, one identity shift at a time.

The Identity We Build… or Inherit

For years, I lived in a story I chose. I just didn’t know it.
A 1.1 GPA my first college. I played a lot of ping pong, bowled and skipped a lot of class. Freedom when you are young has a way to do this to us.

Six jobs in eight years. When it got hard I got out. I would not commit to anyting.

A stint in the National Guard. I thought this was going to change everything. I have since learned bad habits are hard to break.

A failed attempt at cop school. A DUI made that decision for me. And that became 2.

Divorce. That also become 2. I was a mess.

Single fatherhood. This was my one foundation. He was always first.

Carrying debt, bad credit, and even worse, no belief in myself. But I told myself I had it. I can do it. I think I can. I was all but lying. But I was trying.

For a long season of my life, I genuinely thought:
“This is just who I am.”
“This is my world.”
“People like me struggle. People like me don’t get ahead.”

The life I wanted and the life I had were way different in my mind. They were so far off I didn’t see a path to get there. I really started to accept this is just who I am. This is my life from here on out. Is this all there is?

It owned me. It started to become who I was.

And if you’ve ever been in that place, you know exactly what that feels like. If you are in that place, know this, there is a way out. If I can, you can. Believe me.

You’re Not the Only One

Not long ago, I began coaching a Market Executive from Morgan Stanley—someone who, from the outside, had it all together. Success. Status. A life most people would admire. He was just a guy that had it all together. The epitome of me of what many people’s definition of success truly is.

But in our first conversations, I realized something profound:

He wrestled with insecurity.
He carried old wounds.
He questioned himself.
He struggled with his own identity behind closed doors.

Here’s what got me.
None of us are alone. We all have “stuff.”
We all have moments we react to…
Or moments we use as fuel to become someone different.

That’s where the identity shift happens.
That’s where the story changes.
That’s where you hand your “ticket” to a different path.

The Ticket You Choose

We all get a ticket in life. You do. I do. He does. She does. We all do.

One path keeps you exactly where you are—same habits, same beliefs, same limitations, same emotions. Being the same person because “that’s just who I am”
It’s familiar. Predictable. Safe.
And it’s why so many people stay stuck. We exist.

The other path?
It’s unknown.
Uncomfortable.
Unclear.
But it’s the only one that leads to who you want to become.

You don’t have to know how.
You don’t have to feel ready.
You just have to decide. It really is that simple. Once you decide you can figure out the rest from there.

If this can help you. This is exactly what I did. And holy crap was it scary. It’s a leap. It’s a bet on yourself. But is there anyone else you’d rather bet on?

I said yes to working out.
I said yes to reading.
I said yes to getting my MBA when people close to me told me I wasn’t smart enough.
I said yes to developing myself when I couldn’t see the payoff.
I said yes when my entire identity was built on no’s. A lot of NO’S

And over time… it became who I am. Day in and day out. Putting the reps in. When it was uncomfortable I did it anyway. When it was awkward. I did it. When it was hard. I did it. Believe me, I didn’t want to. Not a chance.

It changed my identity.

Three Daily Habits That Will Change Your Life

These are the same habits I shared in the video—simple, not easy, but identity-shifting.

1. Do something physically hard every morning.

I get up at 5 AM every single day. No exceptions. The contract is written.
No questions. No negotiating. No snooze button.

Cold Minnesota morning?
Negative four degrees?

I run anyway.
Because consistency becomes identity.

YOU don’t need to do what I do—but you need to do something.

2. Read or listen for 15–20 minutes a day.

Not because it makes you smarter—
(but it will)
Not because it gives you an edge—
(but it does)
But because it slowly rewires the way you think.
(That’s exactly what it does)

You become what you consume. That’s a choice.

3. Write down three things you’re grateful for. Daily.

Not big things.
Not perfect things.
Just things.

Gratitude shifts your focus.
Focus shifts your beliefs.
Beliefs shift your identity.

What you look for, you’re going to find. It’s that simple. Look for the bad. Find it. Look for the Good, you will BE it.

Takeaways

1. Your past doesn’t get to decide your identity.

You can carry it or you can use it.
Only one of those leads forward.

2. Everyone struggles, even high-level leaders.

Success doesn’t erase insecurity.
It just gives you more to manage.

3. Your habits shape your future more than your motivation.

You don’t rise to your goals.
You fall to your systems.

4. You’re one decision away from a different path.

Not one miracle.
Not one breakthrough.
One decision.
Not some magic motivation

5. You don’t have to know the end of the story to start writing a better chapter.

You start. NOT Start and Stop. Just Start.
You stay consistent. Every day. It’s not an all or nothing. It’s a something.
You become the person you didn’t think you could become. It’s in you.

Ready to Take Your Next Step?

This is who we are at Your Limitless Coach.
We are practitioners first and coaches second.
We will never ask you to do something we aren’t doing ourselves.

If this message hit you…
If you’re ready to step into the next version of yourself…
If you want someone to walk the path with you…

We’d love to talk.

Connect with us:

• Website: yourlimitlesscoach.com

• Podcast: Your Limitless Leadership

• Direct Contact: dnacall.com

Growth starts with one decision.
Let today be the day you choose the other path.

— Brent Widman | Your Limitless Coach